I text
She calls
7 at night
"Come over here, the game is happening"
I say "I can't, tell me sooner next time, I have stuff to do"
I am busy
She is too
It is hard to make plans
I ask her if she is free this time and that
When I get no response
I send funny pictures
I miss her face
I miss her hugs
So I stalk her on facebook a bit
When I finally see her
Randomly at a lecture
We hold each other softly,
While she kisses my hand
I tell her how I tried to look her up
Creepy she tells me,
I was just curious
The next time there is a lull
I send her lots of pics
No response for four days
Did I scare her off?
She responds
"Please only send two at a time"
She says it is overwhelming
But I can see she has her phone
She snapchats other people
I wonder why I am not involved
I feel hurt and confused
I get back from camp
I expect to see many texts from her
Nothing except
"I was high during school"
Ok great
I told you, don't
send me things related to pot
I see pictures of her at parties.
She invited me to homecoming,
Then said never mind
And made other plans without me
I ask her if she wants to do this or that
but no response
I just want to have a balance
finding the balance between too many hellos
and a single goodbye
Is a challenging feat
I am sad that she doesn't respond to me
I have only known her for about a month
Am I more invested than she is?
Or maybe we just have different styles
I want to see her
Hold her
Kiss her
softly, slowly, and for a while
For now I text her once, wait a moment
And when she comments on instagram "Hey Babe"
I smile
The future may hold
things unknown
But this is all for learning
Living in limbo and not knowing doesn't have to be scary
Instead it can be a beautiful time to reflect and share feelings
I feel anxious and I feel scared and I just want to know what she's feeling
Friends have left me and people haven't cared
I don't want to have that happen again
She is so lovely
and I know she likes me
And she asked if I could be her bae
Someday soon I know she'll see me
And we can be together again
For now I wait
for perhaps a text
I may run to rehearsal and see her
But I won't pause my life
Maybe leave some room for seredipidous delights
and continue being a loving believer
Because somethings things go
just as you'd think
And others go away
In less than a blink
I want to hold on
I want to remember
I don't want to smother a dying ember
So give me strength and give me wisdom
So I can be a good girlfriend
And not create a schism
Between my beliefs and my actions
between my self respect and dignity
I will stay true and remember
I am worthy, I am powerful, and I deserve the best I can give me.
She calls
7 at night
"Come over here, the game is happening"
I say "I can't, tell me sooner next time, I have stuff to do"
I am busy
She is too
It is hard to make plans
I ask her if she is free this time and that
When I get no response
I send funny pictures
I miss her face
I miss her hugs
So I stalk her on facebook a bit
When I finally see her
Randomly at a lecture
We hold each other softly,
While she kisses my hand
I tell her how I tried to look her up
Creepy she tells me,
I was just curious
The next time there is a lull
I send her lots of pics
No response for four days
Did I scare her off?
She responds
"Please only send two at a time"
She says it is overwhelming
But I can see she has her phone
She snapchats other people
I wonder why I am not involved
I feel hurt and confused
I get back from camp
I expect to see many texts from her
Nothing except
"I was high during school"
Ok great
I told you, don't
send me things related to pot
I see pictures of her at parties.
She invited me to homecoming,
Then said never mind
And made other plans without me
I ask her if she wants to do this or that
but no response
I just want to have a balance
finding the balance between too many hellos
and a single goodbye
Is a challenging feat
I am sad that she doesn't respond to me
I have only known her for about a month
Am I more invested than she is?
Or maybe we just have different styles
I want to see her
Hold her
Kiss her
softly, slowly, and for a while
For now I text her once, wait a moment
And when she comments on instagram "Hey Babe"
I smile
The future may hold
things unknown
But this is all for learning
Living in limbo and not knowing doesn't have to be scary
Instead it can be a beautiful time to reflect and share feelings
I feel anxious and I feel scared and I just want to know what she's feeling
Friends have left me and people haven't cared
I don't want to have that happen again
She is so lovely
and I know she likes me
And she asked if I could be her bae
Someday soon I know she'll see me
And we can be together again
For now I wait
for perhaps a text
I may run to rehearsal and see her
But I won't pause my life
Maybe leave some room for seredipidous delights
and continue being a loving believer
Because somethings things go
just as you'd think
And others go away
In less than a blink
I want to hold on
I want to remember
I don't want to smother a dying ember
So give me strength and give me wisdom
So I can be a good girlfriend
And not create a schism
Between my beliefs and my actions
between my self respect and dignity
I will stay true and remember
I am worthy, I am powerful, and I deserve the best I can give me.
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