more questions than answers

Tis the season for leakage. It is time to try and start budgeting you decide to make soup and carry it with you to your night class to east instead of expensive sushi but the container is not leakproof and your books smell like tomatoes for the rest of the year. Tis the time when you are not quite sick but in the mornings when you blow your nose mysteriously colored globs dribble down your lip. It is the time when you are not sure if you peed yourself or the discharge is just being its normal ovulation self. So i figured in this time of mass expulsion I might as well do some public self reflection because control over what I put into the world seems to be the most stable thing about a planet in which fires are currently 10 miles away from eating up my house. The internet is the new lock box. 

So of course the next thing to do is to google questions to ask yourself. I , as you may have assumed, was a weird child. I would bring questions that I printed from a computer to lunch in 7th grade to provide interesting conversation topics. On my first ever date I brought along a question series I had curated just for her. Being a bisexual girl she didnt realize it was a date and when I later conveyed my crush she told me I was too loving. Let's talk about SCARING MOMENTS. 

So what is a gender non conforming lad like me to do to help them feel better in this mess of a world? What kind of signs are they willing to accept as indicators? Why not listen to a podcast on cults and try to understand how someone could have that much confidence and belief in themselves that they create a whole following? This is the advice I turn to when the emails to all the possible therapists covered on my insurance in two countries have been sent out and I am waiting for a response.

10. Is there something in your life that is limiting your relationships?

11. How are you handling having many things to accomplish during the week?

12. Are you stressed out? When do you feel like this?

13. Can you spend more time working on self-care?

14. Are you generally happy at college?

15. Are you content with the choices you have made in your life recently?

16. What can you do for yourself that would make you happier?